First off LOL at not being able to afford 7 bucks..
***Disclaimer: since I am in 90% of the videos (seriously, 18 of 20) I will try to be as third person as possible as if I had never even known any of these people, let alone go on numerous trips with them.
Tuesday I received a package stamped first class from a Mr. Jonathan Hawkins. I took it inside and immediately ripped it open. What I found was a dvd case with a picture of a flying coaster on the cover, and a title "Jonathan Hawkins Coasting 2k4." I opened it up and put the dvd into my dvd player.
You are greeted with a beautiful night shot of Talon at Dorney Park. The splash screen has 3 choices. You can either Play the videos Now, view the videos by Scene Selection, or look at some Bonus Features. I did none of this first; instead I looked for Easter eggs which Jonathan had promised to put in. I found all 3 with out too much difficulty required, all of which were incredibly funny, yet ridiculously stupid, and one was even a tad disturbing.
With that out of the way I hit "Play Now."
I will grade the videos on the following scale:
7/10 - Very average by Jonathan's standards.
8/10 - A very solid video, that is nothing extraordinary, but better than average.
9/10 - A very special video, that you can watch over and over again without it getting old.
10/10 - A perfect video, very rare and hard to achieve. Gives you goosebumps just watching it.
I will also use decimals so I am not bound to just these 4 grades.
1. IntroMusic - Polyphonic Spree-Suitcase Calling
Approx. Run Time - 2:15
Pre-music - Storm Runner launch
Summary - I noticed at least a little of every video, except the NC State Fair.. perhaps I missed, but even upon multiple viewings I didn't see anything from it. Very nice interaction with the music, which is catchy as hell. Very nice, for an intro video.
Grade - 8.2/10
2. Carowinds Opening DayMusic - Good Charlotte-The Anthem
Approx. Run Time - 3:01
Ride Diversity - Good
On Ride Footage? - None
Summary - Jonathan and Co. explore the new flying coaster, Borg Assimilator, eat at Shoneys, and vow never to ride Vortex again.
Post-music - Jay gets a surprise and says a wordy dird
Grade - 8.5/10
3. Spring Fling at Six Flags Over GeorigaMusic - They Might Be Giants-Till My Head Falls Off
Approx. Run Time - 3:10
Ride Diversity - Very Good
On Ride Footage? - None
Pre-music - Acrophobia riders get tricked.
Summary - The crew discovers long lines, Alan pretends to be a ninja, Phil needs a trip to the chiropractor, and we find out how Dave 'likes it.'
Post-music - Alan plays a few chords of air guitar
Grade - 8.7/10
4. Myrtle Beach Part 1Music - Weezer-Surf Wax America
Approx. Run Time - 3:16
Ride Diversity - Ok
On Ride Footage? - Grand Prix: Some, Pavilion: A little
Summary -We find out what gets Jay pumped, what makes him spin in circles like a girly-man, and why does the operator of the pirate ship have the brakes on? The music is awesome and very appropriate for this video.
Grade - 9.1/10
5. Myrtle Beach Part 2Music - Something Corporate-21 And Invincible
Approx. Run Time - 3:33
Ride Diversity - Very Good
On Ride Footage? - Lots
Pre-music - Alan the Anchorman goes on location
Summary - The boys think they find Saddam, explore the Mt. Atlanticus golf course, and see what Pedroland really is all about.
Post-music - The best golf, miniature golf shot in history.
Grade - 9.2/10
6. Kings DominionMusic - Sugarcult-How Does It Feel
Approx. Run Time - 3:10
Ride Diversity - Very Good
On Ride Footage? - None
Summary - Chris acts like a self-procliamed moron, Jonathan abuses the hell out of the Flying Eagles, and Matthew learns to watch where he walks in Yogi's Cave.
Grade - 8.8/10
7. Williams GroveMusic - Raffi-Bananaphone
Approx. Run Time - 2:39
Ride Diversity - Excellent.. as far as Williams Grove goes
On Ride Footage? - Lots
Pre-music - Paul has some words of wisdom to all watching.
Summary - Jon, Jay and Dave go to Williams Grove, not quite prepared what they are in for. Hilarious hijinks ensue.
Grade - 9.0/10
8. Six Flags AmericaMusic - They Might Be Giants-Don't Lets Start
Approx. Run Time - 2:44
Ride Diversity - Good
On Ride Footage? - None
Summary - Superman, Superman, and more Superman.. Dave and Jon also find out the joy of The Great Chase.
Grade - 7.4/10
9. Six Flags Great AdventureMusic - Pixies-Debaser
Approx. Run Time - 3:24
Ride Diversity - Very Good
On Ride Footage? - None
Pre-music - Paul attempts to tell us what we are in for at Great Adventure
Summary - Dave tells us how much he likes New Jersey, Everyone discovers how smooth 15 year old arrow mega loopers can REALLY be, and Jon enjoys the Q-Bot's company.
Grade - 7.8/10
10. Quassy/Lake CompounceMusic - The Beans-No One Else (Weezer Cover)
Approx. Run Time - 4:35
Ride Diversity - Very Good
On Ride Footage? - Lots
Pre-music - Paul inquires about a vaccination
Summary - Dave rides a carosuel, the gang enjoys some Allen Herschell made rides, and we see the Lake Compounce waveswinger in actual speed. Oh yes lots of Boulder Dash too.
Grade - 8.9/10
11. Six Flags New EnglandMusic - Blink 182-Always
Approx. Run Time - 4:27
Ride Diversity - Good
On Ride Footage? - None
Summary - Superman, the boys get "EHT", Superman, everyone gives their thoughts of Superman, ERT on Tornado, and more Superman.
Post-music - Poor lifeguard does the splits and nearly busts his ***.
Grade - 9.1/10
12. The Great EscapeMusic - Bowling For Soup- Self-Centered
Approx. Run Time - 3:06
Ride Diversity - Very Good
On Ride Footage? - None
Summary - We see the daily ritual, the gang plays with some goats, and Paul tells us what he thinks of the park. Also Comet, Comet, and more Comet.
Grade - 8.1/10
13. Dorney ParkMusic - The Rentals-Getting By
Approx. Run Time - 3:00
Ride Diversity - Very Good
On Ride Footage? - None
Summary - Jon and Paul enjoy a ride on the Skyscraper, Martin tells us what he thinks of Woodstock Express, and everyone goes bananas looking at Hydra construction.
Grade - 8.0/10
14. HersheyparkMusic - Electric Light Orchestra-Mr. Blue Sky
Approx. Run Time - 4:43
Ride Diversity - Excellent
On Ride Footage? - None
Pre-music - The wonderful hotel room after Dorney..
Summary - We discover how crowded the van really was, The "Perkins Pimps" ride themselves crazy, we go on the Hershey Chocolate Tour and lots of Storm Runner and Lighting Racer.
Grade - 9.1/10
15. KnoebelsMusic - They Might Be Giants-End Of The Tour
Approx. Run Time - 3:40
Ride Diversity - Excellent
On Ride Footage? - Lots
Pre-music - Dave finds a new way to drive a car
Summary - Really captures the bittersweet feeling when the best day of a long trip, is also the last day. Lots of Flyer/Phoenix/Twister action. Perfect song.
Grade - 9.8/10
16. SC State FairMusic - Weezer with Rachel Haden-I Just Threw Out The Love Of My Dreams
Approx. Run Time - 2:37
Ride Diversity - Excellent
On Ride Footage? - Lots
Summary - The freakiest optical illusion ever, Jay busts his *** in a funhouse, lots of general fair type goofyness and oddities.
Grade - 8.9/10
17. C3 at CarowindsMusic - Jon Brion-Knock Yourself Out
Approx. Run Time - 2:08
Ride Diversity - Ok
On Ride Footage? - None
Summary - Alan meets FluffyGun, Dave pretends to be a pimp, and everyone wears their Whootah uniforms proudly.
Grade - 8.2/10
18. NC State FairMusic - Ted Leo & The Pharmacists-Counting Down The Hours
Approx. Run Time - 2:48
Ride Diversity - Excellent
On Ride Footage? - Tons
Summary - Jay and Jonathan see how many Zyklons they can ride in a day, and attempt to squeeze into the smallest car ever. Jay also gives us his thoughts on Tango.
Grade - 9.1/10
19. NASCAR Speedpark/DollywoodMusic - Flogging Molly-Drunken Lullabies
Approx. Run Time - 3:21
Ride Diversity - Ok
On Ride Footage? - Some
Summary - Jonathan combines footage from May and December and the result is a fantastic video. Lots and lots of Thunderhead and Tornado. Great music choice as well.
Grade - 8.7/10
20. CreditsMusic - The Beatles-Let It Be
Approx. Run Time - 2:16
Summary - Matthew, Erin, David, Jay, Chris, Alan, Phil, John, Mike, Paul, Paul, Chris, Natalee, Jonathan, Mark, John, Jen, Martin, Ed, Robert, Aaron, and Jonathan. Excellent way of doing the credits.
Grade - 8.0/10Overall I would say these 20 videos garner about a
9.3/10 rating.
Next we have the Bonus Features.
Alternate Dollywood VideoMusic - Joey Ramone-What A Wonderful World
Approx. Run Time - 2:26
Ride Diversity - Not too good..
On Ride Footage? - None
Summary - Jon and Dave visit Dollywood.. tons and tons of Thunderhead and Tornado. Jon also gets a large Turkey leg.
Grade - 8.4/10
Alternate C3 VideoMusic - Scatman John-Scatman
Approx. Run Time - 1:00
Ride Diversity - Uhh...
On Ride Footage? - Ummm..
Summary - We get a visit from an all too friendly squirrel.
Grade - 7.8/10
NC Zoo VideoMusic - They Might Be Giants-Doctor Worm
Approx. Run Time - 3:00
Summary - Overall silliness with the Whootah Clan at the Zoo. Nice Steve Irwin imitation, but Steve is never behind the camera, he's always up in your face with his CRYKEYS and whatnot. Just a suggestion for next time.
Grade - 8.5/10
Coasting 2k4 TrailerMusic - Whatever the theme from the "Being John Malkovich" trailer is.
Approx. Run Time - 1:15
Summary - Once again appears to be void of any substance from the NC State Fair. But the first time I saw it though, it definitely piqued my interest. Very nice.
Grade - 8.0/10With the Bonus Features and the Easter Eggs, I would say the DVD as a whole is a
9.5/10.
